Why Men Won’t Dance. Award winning dancer Steven might disagree.
Damien Mulley
Invisible people have invisible rights
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I received an award more for my administrative abilties rather than my skill and technique as a dancer. I’ve never competed in any formal sense so I’ve no idea how good I am but then that’s not what the article is on about.
I should really blog about this but I’ll write briefly here instead.
The article is thought provoking. I find the evolutionary psychology aspect of particular interest. The common perception is that if a person is a good dancer then they are good in bed. I’ve encountered this. Trying to explain you can’t sleep with a drunk woman even though you’re single and you think she’s attractive isn’t very easy to do. She may understand when you tell her you’re waiting until you’re married but you still feel like a bit of an idiot.
“Best dance of my life” and “That’s the first time I felt like a real woman” are just two of the compliments I have received after dancing with different girls. It’s a skill I believe a gentleman should cultivate. A lot of the problem comes with the club culture. Alcohol, crap music and lack of floor space all contribute to a lack of dance. Bobbing from one foot to another isn’t dancing. The irony being that what goes on in clubs is in no way romantic or sexy or sensusous. It’s just sleazy.
A lot has to do with people’s inhibitions. It actually does nothing to arouse me in the slightest when my dance partner jumps and grasps her legs around my waist. Or when I grind down with her. Or when she does a cart wheel between my legs. That’s not to say if it happened with a girl I was attracted to in a club I wouldn’t be. It’s just to do with the preconception that a ballroom waltz hold is too much physical contact. You get used to it and you realise it actually means nothing when you’re learning how to dance. But it can mean so much more between two lovers.
Why don’t men dance? I’m not sure myself. Speaking at the anecdotal level I know we did a big effort with UCC Dance this year but it continues to be 70:30 ish overall. Bellydance would be exclusively female but even breakdance only just comes in half and half. Ballroom has been very good this year with the gender divide. It could be the lack of high profile male dancers who ordinary men can look to and admire without fear of a mocking from the lads.
Dance for me is another form of communication. I believe it’s possible to learn more by dancing with a girl for 30 seconds than can happen in 30 minutes of conversation. I think more people should dance but there’s one part of me that’s jealous and want’s to keep it to myself.
A professional male dancer is as physically fit and flexible as a lot of ‘manly’ professions. The perception of dance is changing; thankfully for the better.
“Bellydance would be exclusively female ” – am I the only female that is very thankful for this particularly triumph of feminism?
Men bellydancing in flimsy pink (blue?) qauze and cheap chains would just freak me out.
I wouldn’t like it even if the Backstreet Boys themselves did it my front room.
And quaze is, of course, the new exciting masculine range of gauze.
I don’t dance because I can barely stand up as is! No seriously, I’m so clumsy I get knocked off balance incredibly easily.
Auds
It depends on the style of bellydance. Certain forms of bellydance have always been danced by women for women. Especially in harems.
A male bellydancer is an extremely rare thing but it tends to be much more tense and protective in style than the slutry and fluid movements of your typical female belly dancer.
I haven’t seen it performed myself but while there are issues with a male bellydancer, in terms of the range of style and movements he can do, it isn’t beyond the realms of possibility for there to be male bellydancers.
That said you’re not going to get more men dancing by encouraging them to bellydance. 🙂