Via Rick is news that Fred Phelps and his merry band of churchgoers have said they’re going to protest at Heath Ledger’s funeral. If it’s in Oz they’ll probably be treated to local Oz hospitality. Anyways. Ever notice how the Westboro Baptist troop are almost as good as Greenpeace when it comes to latching on to things in the public eye and getting their names attached. Greenpeace are constantly making a fuss about Apple products and Phelps protests any funeral that is linked in even the weakest ways to homosexuality.
I’m reminded of the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game. Associate Kevin Bacon with anyone in Hollywood in as few moves as possible.
So Heath Ledger was in Brokeback Mountain and he had sex with a bloke. Protest his funeral.
There are gays in America, therefore when American soldiers die in Iraq, God is punishing them. Protest their funeral.
Matthew Shepard was murdered because he was gay. Protest his funeral.
That Tsunami killed Swedes, press release that they deserved it for liberal attitudes.
So now, let’s play the game with other figures, reasons why they should have protested these funerals:
Mother Theresa
Pople John Paul II
Freddy Mercury nevermind.
Katy French
JFK
Pavarotti
Jesus
“So now, let’s play the game with other figures, reasons why they should have protested these funerals:
Mother Theresa
Pople John Paul II
Katy French
JFK
Pavarotti
Jesus”
All Roman Catholic.
As far as I’m aware, Phelps isn’t too fond of them either.
Mother Theresa – easy; she helped people with HIV/AIDS, statistically speaking some of these must have gotten the disease from gay sex, therefore she was a friend of gays who tried to help them rather than let them suffer, like they deserve.
Pope John Paul II – Failed to clamp down on secretly gay priests in the Church, didn’t attack homosexuality nearly enough.
Katy French – was a fag hag.
JFK – I dunno… failed to amend the US constitution to explicitly outlaw homosexuality in America?
Pavarotti – Entertained millions of Opera fans around the world. As we all know, Opera is the gay-est form of entertainment and by definition Pavarotti must have made their gay lives more entertaining.
Jesus – We all know what really went on with the devil in the desert.
Nicely put comments!
I was going to go with cw’s comment that they were all catholic but Adam got it way better! 🙂
Here are my guesses…
(I don’t know how to do those back link thingeys…. or what a tracker mortgage is for that matter)
What an absolute disgrace that they may need to have security at his funeral because of this – instead they should have snipers to pick each protester off one at a time. Then other people can protest their funeral because they were attending a gay-actor’s one therefore they must be gay sympathisers too – why else would they be there!
Fuck Phelps, the best way to treat nutjobs like him and co is just to laugh at them… and then lock them up for hate crimes.
Mother Teresa? Simple. For being a crook, a fraud, a friend of Baby Doc, and for ripping off thousands of American pensioners in the savings-and-loan scandal. Did I mention for being a crook?
Pople John Paul II. You mean like a Pope-Pole? For those terrible gay slippers he wore when he was dead.
Katy French. For the crack.
JFK. For getting laid a lot more than your average non-President.
Pavarotti. For the other two guys in dodgy suits.
Jesus. For Christmas songs.
I’m fairly sure Jesus was Jewish. Phelps is most likely not fond of them either tho!
I regretted the “Roman” part as soon as I posted it.
That said, you better get on to the Vatican and tell them that Jesus isn’t Catholic.
They’ve been using that fact as a key part of their appeal for a good two thousand years.
Katy French. For the crack.
I think you’ll find it was cocaine…
I know:
Microwave said to the
Polish that he would like a
French fancy so put on the
Kettle, the
Jumper got upset and left a
puddle, I would say that was
justifiable
Mother Theresea face looked like a scrotum….. thinking about mans parts makes Phelps confused…Protest!
Reminds me of this little parody on an old Bing Crosby song, by some Irish guy if I remember correctly…
It’s lonely up in Heaven (Fred Phelps)..
There’s no one there but Fred
All the rest went straight to Hell
As soon as they were dead
Coretta Scott and Reagan
Dear old Gerald Ford
It may be hot where they wound up
But at least they won’t be bored
The Boston Pops, Metallica
The cast of Riverdance
A singer name of Marvin Gaye
(He never had a chance)
There’s Milton Berle, Flip Wilson
And of course, they’re dressed in drag
But who’d have guessed Bill Clinton
Was just a closet fag?
And Hillary, a lesbian?
As far as Fred can tell
But any place that she shows up
Is certain to be Hell
Pope John Paul and Buck O’Neil
Anne Frank and Princess Di
All share a lake of brimstone
With that Adolf Hitler guy
Saddam is here, and Castro
That’s really no surprise
But Billy Graham has a room reserved
The minute that he dies
Theresa of Calcutta’s works
Don’t count for much down here
To us she may have been a Saint,
To Fred, another queer
So I pray, Oh Lord, on Judgement Day
May I escape their fate
Please grant me opportunities
To prove that I am straight!
Oh well spotted, Twenty. There’s no fooling you.
I’m a Perth guy, and I’m planning on getting my ENTIRE kick-boxing group and red-necks and aborigional gangs to be on the ready so when this cult (they are NO religion, they’re masquerading as a church) arrives to harrass heaths funeral, WE will step in and give those fuckers a beating….hell, maybe even kill them….They’re the #1 hated family on the planet and wont be missed….Hell! I’d rather listen to Bin Laden then fred the fag phelps. And I dont even like Laden.
I’m a bit nervous because I’ve never concidered killing anyone before, but this cult is making me shake with inhuman rage! So I have every right to explain my actions. Phelps will NOT be returning to America….except in several small boxes.
Contact ALL of your friends and family in the Perth area….I’ll need some backup….and some sanitiser cream….I dont want yo go too long from touching them (even if its with my fists)
But these dickwads will die….Australian style!