Ladies and Gentlemen of the Internet, the man behind the video intros for the Blog and Web Awards is currently battling it out on Twitter to become king of the Twitter world or some title like that and he needs your vote to be the winner. Can you help him? Pretend he’s a poor starving child that’s blind, has to walk 15 miles a day to get water (why the fuck don’t they move?) and needs a goat for Christmas.
All you have to do is be on twitter and send out the following message:
@shortyawards I nominate @mcawilliams for a Shorty Award in #personal because…
Do it for democracy, do it for freedom, do it cos he has my family kidnapped until I write this post.
Photo owned by irina slutsky (cc)
Thank you so much Damien for your support in my campaign to put Ireland on the twitter map.
I understand that John wants to win a Shorty Award, and good luck to him, but is there really a need to bring unfortunate children from the poorest areas of our world into the conversation? You may find it funny to joke about them, “(why the fuck don’t they move?)”.
And attacking the blind as well? In your last post you wrote that Pat Phelan is giving away a phone for charity, yet in this one you make fun of hard working foreign aid charities – “needs a goat for Christmas”.
I love your blog, and read it every day, but I am very disappointed that you would sink so low.
Got my vote. Made me bloody sign up to Twitter too. Now Bock wants to be my friend. What else do I have to do for you pesky bloggers?
Dónal, there is always going to be somebody to find anything offensive. So do you only say something so it causes the least offense or doesn’t cause any offense at all to the majority? If you begin weighing up things and rationalising the irrational, you’ll soon be inventing phrases like collateral damage and friendly fire. We’ll see Mulley.net holding focus groups to see what works best to give the majority happy and seek out more of the same demographic.
This begs the question: Why aren’t you out there right now helping those hypothetical blind kids instead of condemning my words? You are obviously not doing everything you can do if you have enough free time to read this blog, right? So why aren’t you doing everything you can in every second of free time you have? Have you made the rational decision that you’ve done enough, you’ve hit your quota for this week and so that’s it, the rest of the time will be spent reading blogs?
And what effect does telling me you’re disappointed in me actually do for these blind kids you’re worrying about so much?
I’m sure my actions would speak more than silly words on a silly website on the Internet wouldn’t they? Would you still be disappointed with me if you knew those same blind kids get a thousand euros in sponsorship from me each month, does that then overrule the words, does it make it better? (I didn’t by the way, I’ll never give a penny to a charity that makes money from dragging out the people in wheelchairs or the Chernobyl kids with giant tumours or the sad story about people who are portrayed as being inhuman but I’m going off on a tangent.)
I do appreciate your comment by the way and I hope you leave more if you stop by again but I’ll continue offending people both on purpose and accidently in future because I’d rather not be ruled by a focus group.