Damien Mulley

Seems Bertie is saying the election may be held in July 07.

A Bertie version of that Mundy song is sure to happen.

July please,
I’m on my knees,
The smell of you fresh cut grass,
Your blue sky grins
For all its sins
Look another gorgeous levi ass
July people come and go
It looks like another perfect day
Just to see your
Striptease show
July please try your best to stay
And a mongrel begins to bark
At a wino in the park
and his owner doesn’t care
’cause he really isn’t there………
Oh! ma ma ma, oh! ma ma ma, oh! ma ma ma
My july

The Fountain. Really looking forward to this. Aronofsky always has a way of messing with your thoughts.

I want these motherfucking snakes off this motherfucking Luas. No? I want these motherfucking snakes off this motherfucking 46a? No? How about: I want these motherfucking snakes off this motherfucking Dart?

Samuel Jackson stars in Snakes on a Plane where he will utter the immortal line “I want these motherfucking snakes off this motherfucking plane”, which was not in the original movie but thanks to the online population of future fans who got an impersonator to say the line and in turn the studio decided to use the line and refilmed some scenes. And so the fans are writing the films now.

As an aside, since when is Brian O’Driscoll working in hollywood?

And now the point to this post. Via BreakingNews.ie comes news that the Dublin Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has rescued 10 escaped snakes in various parts of Dublin in recent weeks.

If you do find a snake on the run (or is that snake on the slither?), then contact the DSPCA on 01 493 5502/4 to come collect it. They may even send Sam motherfucking Jackson to motherfucking collect the motherfucking snake.

Rang the Government Publications office there to see was there a copy of the Barr Tribunal Report available on cd rom. They said it will be but not right not. It’s in the pipeline but they have no date for when they’ll get it and release it. I’ve emailed the Tribunal email address to see can they provide an electronic copy. If not, anyone want to share the burden of scanning in almost 800 pages and running character recognition software on them?

Update: Email from Barr Tribunal folks.

The CD Rom version of the Report of Mr. Justice Barr will be available from Government Publications at a cost of €5.00 from Monday, 24th July, 2006

FURTHER UPDATE: Barr Tribunal Report in webpage form.

Simon of Dossing Times wonders are voters selfish when it comes to elections?

Politics in this country is at most times selfish. We are increasingly driven by greed and that is not necessarily a good thing.

Meanwhile John Timmons talks about our kids and grankids reading the crap we’re posting right now.

For the first time in the history of man, normal everyday people, the worker drones, the serfs, the loyal subjects in previous eras, will have the unique experience of their children being able to read, see and hear what their parent were doing right here, right now.

The AskDirect blog. Blurb:

Damian O’Broin is founder of Ask Direct, a fundraising and marketing consultancy. With almost 15 years hands-on experience in the not-for-profit sector, Damian is one of Ireland’s leading experts on marketing, communications and fundraising for non-profits.

Unusual market to be in.

What the Internet is in 25 words:

The Internet is the free press of the 21st century. Broadband is Ink; Computers are Pens. Free press means citizens, not broadband providers, control both.

Rad more from Gordon Cook’s blog including why Net Neutrality is not the biggie for our future. Something more sinister is at play.

Phoarrrrrrrrrrrrr. This looks cool.

Generally I only get free brochures thanks to this blog but today a box arrived with packages of tea, coffee, mixed dried fruit and Macadmaia nuts from the Traidlinks organisation’s Heart of Africa brand. The mixed fruit package is fruity and juicy. Was expecting the kind of dried fruit you’d get in cereal. Don’t think I’ve ever had Macadmaia nuts before, they’re nice and kind of meaty. Not tried the tea or coffee idea.

Anyway fair play to the Traidlinks promoters for sending me a package with no requirements to blog about them or spread the word. I like that. I also like that Traidlinks itself is comprised of successful business people who can provide great advice and contacts for the group. You need experience with ideas like this.

Only thing I seem to not know about this is where these goods can be purchased.

The Horrors – Sheena is a parasite. The newest Chris Cunningham music video. Typically weird and entertaining.

Fun:

Police shoot a guy out of the hand of an attempted suicide.

One side launches missiles that contain ballbearings to inflict as much civilian damage as possible. The other side has kids write messages on the bombs that’ll be dropped over Lebanon.

Alienware backpacks.

Seems the “Long Tail” Book is boosting sales of “Naked Conversations” book.

Jeff Jarvis points out that if media outlets broadcasted Bush’s “Yo, Blair .. shit” unconsensored they would have gotten massive fines. Bush’s Government were the ones that brought these new fines in.

Got the below email yesterday advertising two Analytics jobs. Having poker skills is a plus it seems. Is PaddyPowerPoker hiring? These skills make me think a lot of the bloggers in Ireland, especially the ones obsessed about their stats.

Role 1 – Web Analytics Analyst, Business Intelligence Team
Role 2 – Email Marketing Specialist, Business Intelligence Team

Both are permanent roles based in Dublin (South-Side in Cherrywood /Cabinteely). Salaries depend on experience €40,000 up to €70,000 with 20% bonus, Pension and VHI . Please read the job descriptions and apply via the link below.

Web Analytics Analyst, Business Intelligence Team
Main role is to provide web metrics to aid business decision-making within the organization. Candidate will be responsible for analysis of web visitor behavior and making recommendations based on this analysis for improving website design and marketing campaign optimization.

Primary Responsibilites: Daily, weekly and monthly analyses of web marketing campaign activity, including website and e-mail performance and trends and click stream path analysis. Work regarding Web metrics – ranging from report creation to the impact of user. Behavior on key conversion and revenue factors -make recommendations on how to improve campaigns and the site. Conduct ad-hoc traffic analysis of key areas of the site. Develop and evolve web traffic reports . Manage incoming web analytics requests.

Required technical skills: Proficient at analyzing and interpreting data; able to synthesize information from a variety of sources and translate into effective and actionable reports. Should have knowledge of website design and development and their impact on the customer experience. Ability to write and understand SQL queries. Experience with Microsoft Excel. Organizational, verbal, written communication and presentation skills. The ability to develop excellent quantitative, analytical, problem-solving and technical skills. Should have knowledge of website design and development and their impact on the customer experience. Hands on experience with web analysis tools .

Additional skills that are a plus: PHP or SQL or Poker

Email Marketing Specialist, Business Intelligence Team.
The Email Marketing Specialist will plan and execute mass-market email campaigns and optimizing the effectiveness of all email campaigns. The specialist is responsible for all e-mails created and deployed by the marketing department; works with executives and other business intelligence analysts to maximize the profitability of all email campaigns.

Primary Responsibilities: Evaluate evolving technological needs to support a robust email program. Report on key e-mail metrics: deliverability, open rates, click-through rates, and response rates. Strong understanding of Usability, Human Computer Interaction, and Design Guidelines, and optimization of email design. List management. Message creation and management. Form and survey QA testing. A/B split and random group testing. Dynamic content assembly. Trigger based email planning and implementation. Familiarity of email best practices including CAN SPAM compliance.

Additional skills that are a plus: PHP or SQL or Poker

To apply for either role please click here.