Damien Mulley

My god almighty. I never thought Bertie could win a debate on the health system. He did. I never thought Enda would be more protective about Bertie’s “money was just resting in my account” incident than Bertie. He was.

Here’s how you piss off the nation. Talk down to them. Say “Let me tell you why” “Let me tell you how” it stings off “Listen you thick gobbo, this is how it is.” Bertie started off weak and defensive but as Enda missed prime opportunities he gained way more confidence until eventually he was quoting FG figures back to Enda and Enda was in bits.

Trevor “so into saving trees, he writes on his hands” Sargent would have had more impact tonight as the sub for Enda. Had Rabbitte been on this, Bertie would not have had the walkover he just had. I’d be seriously worried for a country with a man like Enda in charge but we still need Fianna Fáil out.

The P.D.s really took time to put thought into this:

Guarantee a state-of-the-art communications network, driven by competition, to which all players in the market have equal access.

State owned? Privately owned? One owner? What?

Fund nationwide broadband coverage.

How how how how?

Wow, the worst manifesto ever. Really shows how much they care about communications.

In government Fianna Fáil will:

Complete the roll-out of broadband throughout the country with the National Broadband Scheme (NBS). This will mean that the last 10%-15% of the country, which will never have access to broadband without intervention or support, will now have access to broadband, provided on a technology-neutral basis.

Yeah your National Broadband Tender is a farce.

Encourage the progressive shift to IP based Next Generation Networks.

NGN again. You really bought that FUD didn’t ya? As for “encouraging”? Haven’t you “encouraged” eircom to play ball the past 10 years? What did that get Ireland? Oh yes, highest mobile bills, highest line rental, second last for broadband in the EU15 and second highest landline bills.

Encourage the separation of Eircom’s network from its commercial retail business into a separate entity to be regulated by ComReg, on a fully open-access and transparent basis. We anticipate that this organization will attract funding as a quasi-utility and will play a role in encouraging the development of Next Generation Networks in Ireland.

How? Why? Why now? As for ComReg regulating it. Please.

Tender contracts to provide broadband availability to the final 10% of the country. The successful tenderers will have to commit to deploy technological solutions to allow maximum competition.

Yeah lads, see your first point, it’s the same as this. Did you not proof read this?

Expand the current free telephone rental scheme by providing for free broadband for older people. Industry will be invited to tender for the provision of the new bundled broadband and rental service for older people.

10 years later it is still hard to sign up to anyone but eircom for this.

Wow, this really is the lamest so far but the lamest of all is going to come after this post thanks to the P.D.s. Even past press releases from Fianna Fail were more ambitious than this. No vision whatsoever. More bandaids than anything else. The previous manifesto in 2002 promised all 5mb broadband by 2005. Where’s that now agan?

With special guest stars. In fact, now it HAS Bertie too!

The Green Party will:

• carry out a feasibility study into the State re-taking control of Eircom, divesting any commercial operation, and maintaining the fixed-line network as an open access infrastructure to all operators;

I dunno lads. Why buy junk? Might be better to build an alternative network and merge existing assets and then tell the Dept of Environment to bring out a universal planning regulation for carrier neutral ducting everywhere in Ireland. Every estate should have neutral ducting going to each home.

Set the mobile phone operators, cable companies and Eircom into direct competition to get cheaper, faster and more integrated broadband services;

Isn’t that what they are doing in Dublin without intervention? But how do you do that? Isn’t that what’s meant to be in a manifesto?

Review the Government’s rollout of metropolitan area networks to resolve the issues of the delivery of ‘back-haul’ connections and the ‘last mile’ connection to the consumer;

Yes. Definitely. Total waste of money so far.

Consolidate post offices into local community internet/broadband facilities;

Surely we should be aiming to have all households using broadband instead? But I like the idea. Not bad for people afraid of the Internet, maybe a good way of introducing them to it. Why not use Post Office property as drop centres for massive fibre hubs that locals can possibly dig to? Circumvent eircom exchanges, though with real and proper fibre, exchanges become obsolete.

Introduce a proper policing and monitoring system for the operation of mobile phone masts;

Oeeer. This must have been proposed by the same wing that Typhoid McKenna is in. No masts, no anti-biotics.

Establish a new unified broadcasting regulator and the similar reconstitution of the RTE Authority to ensure its future independence;

Regulators send shivers up my spine.

Develop an all-island digital ‘free to air’ broadcasting service carrying RTE 1 & 2, TG4, TV3 and the Northern Ireland BBC/ITV public service main channels.

Yes, and how about making them licence their content using creative commons licences?

Not as detailed as Labour, better than Fine Gael’s. I think we need something far more in-depth. No spectrum policy. Nothing about the sloppy telecoms regulator. Half arsed. Nothing abour future planning whatsoever. Nothing about making sure things can get worse, which they easily can. Nothing at all ambitious.

Edit: Fifty quid sent out. Thanks!

In case you missed it, John Gormley gatecrashed McDowell’s poster launch. Then Lucinda Creighton came along and also had some fun. Cue Benny Hill music.

Raw footage – The good proper fight (quality is crap):

Direct link to RTE real media file.

RTE News Report with edited footage: